All things Cricket.

Fuck, NSW threw that away, fuckin Aaron Bird, the caarnt. Fuckin Bravo.

i like james hopes ay.. opens the batting.. opens the bowling.. and is massive at bowling yorkers.

that is all

Fuck... completely forgot the cricket was on today...

Just watched the highlights. Those pakies couldn't catch a cold lol.

Tell me about it, against us they dropped 6/7 catches in 1 innings! For the record we still managed to lose that test by 145 runs.

NZ Crickets motto - snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Fortè wrote:

Tell me about it, against us they dropped 6/7 catches in 1 innings! For the record we still managed to lose that test by 145 runs.

NZ Crickets motto - snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

lol, i like it.

why is it all of a sudden everyone wants to blow mitch johnson?? he's always been good. and for the record i said they years ago they should have stuck with watson.

Watson is a moron, it tears me up inside to see him doing well, it really does. But I suppose i need give credit where its due.

Imagine if he didn't consistantly choke in the 80's and 90's. Atleast you've got that. I guess I have a thing for allrounders.

Bit of a general knowledge.

I played cricket for the Wanderers Cricket club in Townsville from under 10's to under 14's. Andrew Symonds and Mitch Johnson also played juniors for this club as well as first grade.

End rant/

^^ '
wrong section tard, but i'll let you off

Tait bowled 161km/h... crap... 3rd fastest ball ever recorded.

Sledging is a wonderful part of any game. lol@ the Mars Bar.
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Rod Marsh & Ian Botham:
When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words:
"So how's your wife & my kids?" the reply from Botham was "my wife's fine, your kids are retarded".
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Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him.
"Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
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Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes):
"Hey Eddo, why are you so fucking fat?"
Eddo Brandes: "Because every time I fuck your mother, she throws me a biscuit."
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Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:
During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't fucking bat."
Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't fucking bat & you can't fucking bowl.
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Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad:
During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor.
A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed. "Tickets please," Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
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Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:
During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries.
"This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl."
Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say fuck off."
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Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga:
And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one-dayer in Sydney: "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat cunt!"
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James Ormond & Mark Waugh
Ormand had just come out to bat on an Ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh.
Mark Waugh: "Fuck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
James Ormond: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."
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Glenn McGrath & Ramnaresh Sarwan
McGrath to Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's dick taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever fucking mention my wife again, I'll fucking rip your fucking throat out!"
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Mark Waugh & Adam Parore
Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball.
Mark: "Oh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then, you're fucking useless now."
Parore (turning around): "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut.
And now I hear you've married her, you dumb cunt!"
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Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga
Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim.
Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
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Ravi Shastri vs the Aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't want to slander anyone) Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single. This guy gets the ball in and says, "If you leave the crease I'll break your fucking head." Shastri: "If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the fucking 12th man." 
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Malcolm Marshall & David Boon Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?" 
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Fred Trueman & Raman Subba Row Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly "I should've kept my legs together, Fred." "So should your mother," he replied

Sledging is the best part of cricket. Kudos to you frit, kudos.

haha great read frit loved it

that was a great read frit, my respect for this awful game just went up ten fold, they should televise this shit

Ian Botham - It weighs about 5 ounces, it's red, shiny, round and you're supposed to hit it!
Viv hits it for 6 and says - You know what it looks like, you go find it!

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Jamie Siddons (considered one of the best players never to have played Test Cricket for Australia) was fielding at first slip and the batsman was fidgeting around and basically taking his sweet time to face up.

Siddons : "For fucks sake, It's not a fucking Test Match"
Batsman turning round : "Obviously - You're here !"

still not really a fan of watson. hes one of the only QLD sports stars i dont really like. he'll be injured again soon enough. hes in top form tho

more david warner please
how harsh is brad hodges career.. hes a class act

^^ Brad Hodge is quite simply the man. Don't know if i've ever seen him fail. Brilliant batsman, sublime in the field and handy at the bowling crease aswell. Get rid of that shitcunt White. Yes he can hit a big ball but every bloody australian can clear the rope when needed!

On to more important matters.

2nd T20i, (hate the format tbh) in my current city of residence, Christchurch. Pitch should be a bit faster than Wellington, as its had a couple of weeks of hot sun beaming down on it. Maybe Tait can replicate the 160.7km/h ball or even surpass it.
Expecting more from our best batsmen Guptill and Taylor (Fuck you Billy!) to get some serious runs (180 being bare minimum) and take the fight back to the Aussies. Tait is easily rattled, so our openers need to go hard at him and should they get a few away, Tait will stray I think.
Wouldn't be surprised if Styris the Virus gets a run ahead of Nathan McCullum, as he has been in red hot form domestically and the fact that McCullum had a shocker of a game in Wellington, by his standards.

I'm predicting a Black Caps win and therefore a tied T20i series.

Hanging out for test cricket really, love that shit.

hah pretty decent predictions forte.. massive runs.. tait got smashed by mccullum, over the keepers head over and over. 215 was a massive total

im surprised aussies got that close.. i was getting excited watching white smash it down the ground haha

did they play on a postage stamp?

the ground did seem pretty small.. but they showed a graphic of mccullums sixes which showed the distance of his hits.. all his sixes were about 75+ meters

beertank23 wrote:

did they play on a postage stamp?

Nah Bert, they played in my backyard but wouldn't play the 'one hand one bounce' rule.... disappointing.

Was really impressed with Southee's last 3 overs, he was under so much pressure and came up trumps.
Getting sick of Oram, can't bat and can't bowl these days, so I think his time is nearly up.

Also enjoyed seeing White tonk Vettori, hardly anyone tries to take him on these days.

Fuck! Vetts is out, not a good start.

Pissed me off the other day the black caps chiping all those sneaky shots over their heads, a couple of them were like a meter of 6. useless aussies

Expect more disappointment young abs, we haven't t finished yet!

Also I thought Johnson was a intelligent person, but headbutting a guy who's wearing a helmet is just retarded.